Robert Hudson: Integrative Psychotherapy, Counselling, Coaching & Consultancy
Are You Addicted to Sex?
A ‘diagnosis’ of sexual addiction is highly subjective. In a sense, it cannot be made by anyone other than the person concerned. Using the four criteria consider if the following applies to you:
Does your behaviour preoccupy you and/or does it feel out of control?
For example—
You plan to look at adult material on the Internet for an hour and then find that you have stayed on much longer that you wanted
You use escorts out of a sense of need or fun, and then find that several sexual encounters follow one after another and it’s never enough
You engage in the behaviour in spite of the obvious harmful consequences
Do you try to stop and find that you cannot really stay stopped?
For example—
You throw out the magazines, videos, and DVD’s in disgust and then you start to collect them all over again
You vow to yourself or to your partner that ‘you are never going to do it again’…and then it starts all over again, sometimes right away sometimes eventually
Does your behaviour bring with it real and/or potential harmful consequences?
For example—
Your behaviour causes you to feel really bad about yourself
It disturbs your relationship and family life
There are financial losses, sometimes spending outside your means
You risk exposure to HIV and other sexually transmitted infections
You risk job loss or professional embarrassment
Do you think that your behaviour might be unwittingly used by you to anaesthetize some other, difficult to pinpoint, negative feeling state?
People commonly discover in treatment that the behaviour has been used to anaesthetize some or all of the following—
Chronic low self worth
Depression
Anxiety / Stress at home or work
Anger
Core loneliness
Boredom
Problems and bad feelings in the marriage or partnership
Shame and guilt
Are you a sex addict?
If you recognise yourself in the descriptions above then it’s probably worth going to a sexual recovery meeting to help you think further or having a discussion with a professional working in the field of sexual addiction. You would be welcome to contact me for an assessment or further information.
Robert Hudson: Integrative Psychotherapy, Counselling, Coaching & Consultancy